Bonus: I Almost Quit Before I Began And Here Is Why

Bonus: I Almost Quit Before I Began And Here Is Why

The part nobody tells you about “showing up” is how close you can be to not showing up at all. We share the story behind why this podcast almost didn’t happen, and we get honest about what life looks like when you’re juggling too much at once: parenting, marriage, leadership, running a group practice, financial pressure, and the emotional weight that comes with being a therapist who holds space for other people all day. 

We dig into overwhelm and burnout in a practical way, including how stress shows up as real somatic symptoms like jaw clenching, tight muscles, disrupted sleep, and that creeping sense of running on fumes. We talk about the trap of minimizing, the relief that comes with insight, and why social support matters when you’re carrying impossible expectations. If you’ve ever felt like everyone thinks you have it together while you’re quietly falling apart, you’ll feel seen here. 

We also speak directly to the unique strain of being a first responder spouse, especially when your partner is gone for 48 to 72 hour shifts. That distance can create loneliness, burnout, and a constant pressure to keep things steady at home. We explore what it means to be present again when anxiety keeps pulling you into the future and sadness pulls you into nostalgia, and we share a grounded reminder: the goal is not shame or guilt, it’s learning how to come back to your life while you’re living it. 

If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who’s stretched thin, and leave a review so more people can find the support. What part of your life feels the heaviest right now?

Transcript

Welcome And Why This Is Bonus

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Talk about a first bonus episode. This is why I almost didn't start this podcast. So, my goal with this episode, I know I've been saying show, forgive me, is to welcome you back and let you know that this is going to be a little bit of a treat. That's my intention. I wanted to share the story behind why this podcast almost never happened. It's one of those things where you do something and maybe it's for a reason, maybe it's subconscious. Intention, intention can matter. Intention matters. Sometimes, though, you find yourself either swimming in motivation, starting and running a group practice, effects, and then dealing with the stress of building a practice. On top of that, let's kind of segue and move right into financial pressure, parenting, being a business owner, or whatever it is that you're doing, that I would imagine still takes a lot of hard work. And then personally, being a therapist and holding space

Overwhelm, Stress, And Body Signals

SPEAKER_00 1:48

for people, whether it's a crisis, their trauma, a current struggle, communication, you know, anything that anxiety is a huge one, burnout is number one, while also still needing your own support. You know, oftentimes people will look at you when you're sitting across from them. And maybe it's not a spoken, a spoken thing, but there are times when people look at you and, you know, clients, patients, and they really think that you have it together. And really, I think everyone kind of falls apart. Being married to a first responder firefighter is a whole other beast. And I'm not minimizing anybody else or all of those strong single parents. I think any relationship is difficult. If you're a parent, we all know that that can be lots of wins, lots of cries, lots of tears, lots of wanting to bang your head against the wall, and then also having these moments of this is why I did this. Feeling overwhelmed is by far one of the most prominent things that we as human beings, beings, not beings, human beings. I guess what happens is that, okay, let me circle back. So when we feel overwhelmed, something happens to our body. We get stressed, we feel these somatic symptoms, uh, jaw clenching, tight muscles. I mean, a lot of it has to do with really experiencing it in our body. And some of us are just so, so good at minimizing. I'm lying, but we're pressing that, right? We're pressing that. So no right or wrong. It kind of just happens. And I think whether you're wondering, you know, if if this is a thing that you need to be worried about, as far as just, you know, is this going to be debilitating in my life? Really, insight is the key. Insight, social support, being able to say, you know, I'm carrying so much. I'm carrying these impossible expectations. And we're all human. So I think my goal as far as this particular episode is to really be authentic and to really, really hone in on the fact that, okay, first of all, I just need to say it. I need to go, I need to say how hard it is to be a wife of a person that is gone for 48 hours at a time, sometimes 72. I don't know if you can relate. Maybe if you're in the military and your husband's deployed or TDY, or maybe you just have a spouse

The Reality Of A First Responder Spouse

SPEAKER_00 4:43

that has this like really, really CIA FBI super hardcore job that requires them to be away for nine months. I mean, it's difficult. It's all difficult. So how do we survive? Is it excessive amounts of coffee? You know, is it like, are we drowning and hiding in a closet somewhere and weeping? I mean, again, there's no right or wrong. It it boils down to, you know, how do we get through this? And a lot of it really is feeling that struggle of, I don't know if I can do this. This is so hard. Breakdowns, burnout, like even the signs of burnout, they're scary. Your body breaking down, your back being out of commission for six weeks. That is a thing that happened to someone, wink wink. So it can be anything like, you know, your appetite, your, your, it's not right, your sleep is off, you are dissociating or you're kind of tapping out, almost like Adam Sandler on click, you know, when he has the remote and he just keeps kind of going through the motions of life, and then all of a sudden he blinks and he's an older man now and he's missed everything. Right. So what's the what is the message there? Well, the message isn't to sit and live in shame or guilt. It's to learn how to try to be present because no matter what, anxiety keeps us fearing the future, and depression or sadness keeps us kind of, I don't want to say hyperfixating, but it's it's it's nostalgia, right? It's being, it's thinking about what was and relating our life or comparing our life now to what it could go back to being, whether that's fantasizing,

Burnout, Shutdown, And Missing Your Life

SPEAKER_00 6:38

fantasizing, that's the word I was looking for, fantasizing. So do you often fantasize about things that you ever did in in the past? You know, maybe it was you were in high school or you were seven or eight and had no bills and you know, played outside with worms and dirt, you know, the it's all it's all beautiful. Like the memories are beautiful. What ends up happening is that when we are so overwhelmed or struggling with burnout, well, now bonus bonus, blink blink. It's one of those things where I want to go back to that. And who who wouldn't want to? You know, I feel like anybody in a room, you tell them, hey, do you want to go back to like when life was bliss? I think of a stampede, or I think of Shibuya Street in Japan. I think of like so many people just running, running, running, running. Anyway. So yeah, my my goal for everyone listening is it sounds all over the place, which, you know, if we were to be honest and real, okay, so sometimes that's our life, right? Or our laundry basket or our kitchen sink. And so my again, my goal, the objective here is to really, really, really provide support, not just on a personal level and an authentic level of what it looks like to be human and live life, but what it also looks like to be a spouse and a parent and group practice owner, aka, or you know, for those that that doesn't fit, a business owner. And you know how we how we keep it together mentally. Because I guarantee you, if we all collaborated, every single person in the world, we all got together, we all have a strength that we have learned, gained, earned, whatever the case may be. And compassion fatigue is a thing, you know, tapping out, wanting to be, wanting to do different things as a parent and feeling like you're falling short, it's an awful feeling. I wouldn't recommend that for anyone. Then also falling on your face at work. And if you are a leader or a mentor or someone that is managing, you don't really get to do that. I mean, sure you can, but what are the ramifications? You know, we kind of that's where there are certain areas of our in our life where we really have to keep it together. And then there are certain areas where we can fall apart. And maybe our goal, maybe what we can do is work on allocating when we fall apart and when we keep it together. Or maybe we just are who we are in that moment. So if there's anything that you want me to cover, as a licensed psychotherapist, I want to provide the support, the love, all of the things, keeping it real, keeping it so genuine, keeping it saying things that we don't say out loud, the honesty, the struggle. I just want to really, really provide support and awareness and also take care of our community people, like the first responders, because here I am complaining on my end. I wonder what it's like on their end. So if you can relate to that in any capacity, please subscribe, provide feedback. Let me know if you want to be featured on this podcast. And also, just for the record, another little bonus, which I'll be including these every so often. You can listen to this podcast at two times speed. And I recommend that because then you can get much more, you can get more done, not much more. You can get more done in a smaller amount of time. And congrats for us. I love that for us. So thank you for tuning in. I will

Support, Community, And How To Listen

SPEAKER_00 10:29

be back with some bonus episodes and then, of course, weekly episodes to discuss why we are in this together. See you next time.